[ Maybe at some point in the future, John will look back on today and realize, just how hard it was. How today was one of the hardest days of his entire life. From morning to night, it had been difficult decisions after difficult decisions, harsh words after hard words, violence begetting more violence. Lorna turning her back on them.
John looks out the greasy window of the Nashville warehouse they've holed up in, knowing tonight is going to be yet another sleepless night. He's used to them, now. He thinks about Lorna, and about how much of her recent choices must have been influenced by Sonia's death. How many of his own choices have, as well, and then haven't. Maybe, he thinks, maybe at some point in his life, he could have loved her. But they'd drifted apart, her solutions to problems sitting uneasily on his stomach every time.
And then there was Clarice, and the way the two of them fit together, and how it spurned Sonia to make more choices he couldn't agree with. She hadn't been his girlfriend, not really. It hadn't been that kind of relationship.
It still makes him feel guilty that the moment Clarice steps close to him, all he thinks about for a second is how he could just wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her close. ]
Hey.
[ Instead, he shifts a little, making enough space for Clarice to sit next to him if she wants to. ]
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Date: 2018-02-08 05:59 pm (UTC)John looks out the greasy window of the Nashville warehouse they've holed up in, knowing tonight is going to be yet another sleepless night. He's used to them, now. He thinks about Lorna, and about how much of her recent choices must have been influenced by Sonia's death. How many of his own choices have, as well, and then haven't. Maybe, he thinks, maybe at some point in his life, he could have loved her. But they'd drifted apart, her solutions to problems sitting uneasily on his stomach every time.
And then there was Clarice, and the way the two of them fit together, and how it spurned Sonia to make more choices he couldn't agree with. She hadn't been his girlfriend, not really. It hadn't been that kind of relationship.
It still makes him feel guilty that the moment Clarice steps close to him, all he thinks about for a second is how he could just wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her close. ]
Hey.
[ Instead, he shifts a little, making enough space for Clarice to sit next to him if she wants to. ]