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[tanker]

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when you float like a cannonball
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[tanker]

in what way exactly do you want to go about unraveling me
color me curious, too

[ He's very curious, now. Very. ]

i shouldn't be surprised that you'd like mayo. you just have to be a tiny bit controversial, don't you?

[viatorius]

you have to have your weaknesses.
sandwiches with pickle.
shirts with sleeves.
girls who are clearly into you.

( Danger, Will Robinson. )

[tanker]

shirts with sleeves?
they're a weakness?

[ aka he never realized he doesn't wear many of them, but not she's mentioned it... ]

you can't tell me that.
you can't say it's clear.

But I'd like if you unraveled me.

[viatorius]

well, you're kind of against them.
i get it. fabric can't contain you.

( His wardrobe is a problem. )

why can't i?
nvm. i know why it's weird. things have happened.
but before. there was something before, wasn't there?

[tanker]

I just... don't own many. They're not super comfortable to me.

[ His wardrobe is not a problem, thank you. ]

exactly. things have happened. I'm sorry about them.

but there was. there was for me, anyway. it hasn't changed.

[viatorius]

i think there was for me too.
but i need to
i don't know
see for real?

( At least she's being honest. )

[tanker]

we should talk. i'm in my office, and it has a door that locks.

[viatorius]

( Is this a bad idea? She doesn't know. But she's unfolding herself from where she's perched anyway, heading to where John usually resides. )

you really want to talk?

[tanker]

is that not what you want?

[viatorius]

maybe?
if you think we might figure out a direction after.

[tanker]

yeah, exactly.

Get over here already.

[viatorius]

( Knock knock.

Clarice is doing her best not to look sheepish as she ducks inside his office, her eyes seeking his even as she shuts the door behind her. She's not a teenager, she knows better. But when she leans against the wood to watch him, something helpless and youthful rises up inside her. )

Are you thinking about jelly donuts right now?

[tanker]

[ John's eyes are focused on Clarice when she finally comes in, leaning against his desk, phone by his side, arms crossed over his chest. He levels her with a steady look, intent. ]

Couldn't be further from what I'm thinking about. Why, s that what you're thinking of?

[viatorius]

Not really.

( She's thinking about how good he looks, about how she hasn't felt like this in a long time. )

What are you thinking?

[tanker]

[ He keeps his eyes on her. ]

I'm thinking about how beautiful you are.

[viatorius]

I'm thinking that's definitely a line.

( She takes a step forward, and then another one. )

[tanker]

[ He shakes his head. ]

It's not. Since the very first time I saw you, and you threw a coffee carafe at my head, I've been thinking it. But, with everything, I couldn't... I didn't want to put that on you, when you were confused, and hurt.

[viatorius]

And if I'm not confused anymore?

( She stops, just shy of him, her bright green eyes searching his face. )

Let's just say, what happened was kind of shitty. But I'm willing to draw a line under it. What then?

[tanker]

[ John takes a deep, sharp breath through his nose, looking down at Clarice. ]

I don't know. It depends on what you want. If it needs to be made clear, I am into you. I've been for a while.

[viatorius]

Okay.

( She seems to wait a second, weighing up her options. He's still leaning against the desk and her hands fit to the spaces at his side. Clarice has to press up a little to meet his mouth, but when she does the kiss is firm and sure of itself. It's different, from last time. It has to be, because it's real. But she feels like she has it under control.

Well, mostly. Her heart is racing behind her ribs. )

[tanker]

[ John can't help the tiny sound that escapes him when Clarice kisses him. He doesn't have the memory she does, so to him, it is the first time, and he's quick to unfold his arms, reaching up and sliding a hand through her hair.

He can hear and feel her heartbeat, and his is no better, fit to burst through his chest as he presses a little harder, leaning into Clarice, inviting her closer. ]

[viatorius]

( That sound, it ignites something desperate inside of her, hands leaving the desk to curve around the shape of his biceps. There's something about John that appeals to her, a strength that resides in his bones, a surety of his place. She's never felt like that. Or at least, not until now. Clarice likes what he offers, purpose and meaning all wrapped up in a gorgeous package. It's not just attraction, and that should frighten her, but instead it makes her want him more.

Clarice strains forward, pressing into the space between his feet, her tongue dragging lightly over his bottom lip. It's a question, something hopeful. An I'm here. She wants them to feel equal. )

[tanker]

[ It's like a part of him, a part of him that's always on the defensive and ready to fight, melts away when Clarice presses close to him. For a moment, here and now, he doesn't have to defend or protect or fight anyone, he can just be - himself, the softer side of him that he barely ever gets to show. His thumb brushes her cheekbone, his legs parting a little as he sits heavier on the desk, allowing her even closer, wanting her even closer.

She licks at his lip and he groans again, pushing against her, tongue touching hers, slipping past her lips as his free arm wraps around her waist, but lets go after a second, worried about hurting her.

Sure, they have things to talk about. Sure they do. But first... first John is going to make the very most of this. ]

[viatorius]

( Clarice lets herself get lost in the moment, thoughts flying away the minute he parts his lips. Her fingers go from gripping the fabric at his sleeves to pushing up, palm against his throat and her nails scratching lightly at the nape of his neck. It's different, from the false memory. She can taste him, smell him, feel his muscles shift and his pulse pound. It's so very real and she can't help but feel hungry for more of it.

Clarice has to break away to catch her breath, but she doesn't stop touching him, pushing her touch up beneath the knot of his hair. Her lips find his jaw, drag along the shape of it before she's pressing her forehead against his, strange eyes holding his gaze. )

Tell me this isn't a bad idea.

( They're at war.

But they want each other. She knows that. She can't deny that. )

[tanker]

[ His fingers twist in her shirt at her back, wanting to make her push harder, hold him tighter. There's barely anything he can't take, and he can definitely deal with her nails down his back, or her teeth into his collarbone. He wants it all, he wants to feel her when she's out of the room again.

He tilts his head when she pulls back, allowing her more space before she leans in and he presses her forehead to his, his eyes boring into hers, taking how incredible they are. ]

I'm not sure I can tell you that.

[ Because he's not going to lie to her again. ]

But it doesn't change the fact that I want you. So bad.